Humor

Presidents Are Puppets to Poultry Masters

 ? ?? ?Every year it’s a traditional Thanksgiving news story: the official Presidential pardon of one lucky turkey. ?? ?It’s a photo-op that newspapers and broadcast stations feast upon; a little sorbet to clear the ravenous appetite of the 24-hour news cycle. But this little news-nothing is NOT what it seems!!!!!!!!!!!(wait, let me add a …

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Humor

Fate Thou Art Ironic (Pt. 4)

 ? ?? Heavy guilt had gripped me for days. Sleep was awfully scarce and not terribly restful. Dance was impossible because guilty feet have got no rhythm. ?? ?I was having a horrible time wrestling with my conscience over whether I should go through with the request made by a relatively new acquaintance who sold …

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Humor

Mr. Precious Organs (Pt. 3)

  ?? ?Got out of my car in the supermarket parking lot and there?HE?was.?THAT?guy. The one who wants one of my kidneys and my spleen. ?? ?THAT guy I’ve only met a couple times in passing at parties. The one who sells insurance. The one who sold me my ironclad policy that’ll pay my wife …

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Humor

The Ante Is Upped (Pt. 2)

 ?? ?At 3:41 last night, the bedroom phone rang. ?? ? ?? ?“Hello,” I mumbled into the phone half asleep. ?? ? ?? ?“Well, you coming through for me, or what, jerkface?” a male voice asked sharply. ?? ? ?? ?“Who is this?” ?? ?? ??“Don’t play dumb, you know damn well who this is. …

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Humor

My Big Brouhaha (Pt. 1)

 ?? ? This may sound kind of weird, but I feel like I’ve got to air it out… much as one might air out his/her favorite kimono that’s acquired a musty smell from too much must. ?? ? This guy I met a couple weeks ago called me up out of the blue and asked …

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Advertising/Marketing

The Swedish Bikini Team Legend

  Seventeen years ago, five scantily-clad women rode into the American consciousness and became lightning rods for political correctness. I am proud to say I had a hand in creating these advertising icons; the famous, the infamous Old Milwaukee Beer Swedish Bikini Team. What began as a joke ended as a joke. The SBT died …

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