In a startling development, a mysterious white knight has come forward with a proposal to rescue the United States economy from the flushing swirly bowl.
The mysterious man goes by the name “Bernie M. Adoff” and has contacted government officials with what he describes as “a foolproof plan to earn 20% annually on your money, easy as pie, with no worries, headaches or hassles”… “just give it to me and watch it grow, Grow, GROW!”
(As a public service, the following is the distillation of many job hunts and my surfing of wild economic times. Read and share with anyone you know hunting for a job. “The Lint Screen” is working hard to get this economy running full blast.)
Your boss asks you if “you have a minute”, and the pit of your stomach jumps into your heart and goes all Ricky Ricardo banging the congas and sending an alarm to your spinal highway dispersing anxiety on all major interstates and blue highways of your central nervous system. The message: your number’s up, you’re about to be whacked, laid-off, let-go, fired.
I have a soft spot in my heart for Ed because if not for him, I would not have achieved the success in my career I have. Hmm, sounds like story time…
“It was one of the cruelest, most inhumane acts I’ve ever witnessed,” said Daniel Wurtkingle, a PETA activist in Washington, D.C., “Obama flat-out murdered that defenseless, innocent housefly in cold blood.” As Mr. Wurtkingle’s eyes filled with tears, a cockroach scampered across his left arm. He looked on, nonplussed.
A designer named Kris Todd with entirely too much time on his hands created this scene of a blacksmithing squirrel…
I had Tweeted, e-mailed, Facebooked, blogged, vlogged, My Spaced, Google Grouped, You Tubed, Second Lifed, wikied, podcasted, Plaxoed, Linked-In, every form of social networking– I even went old school Alex G. Bell on a handset, but none of it was working.
Then I did something truly incredible: I arranged a ‘face-to-face meeting.’