It seems my recent rave review of Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport (“America’s friendliest airport”) has caused a bit of competitive rivalry. I recently flew to Orlando International Airport (MCO) for commercial production in town, and I’m here to tell you these folks got game. Orlando is the home of Disney World, Universal Theme Park, …
I’ve just returned from a mission where there were only three crew members and our window to a new world was the largest screen at a 24-plex. I’m sorry to report the mission was an abject failure–– a steaming pile called Paul. If you’ve even contemplated going, save your money or put it through a shredder; you’ll have a more entertaining time.
Inside my body are two titanium hip devices (which may be defective) that make airport security scanners go cattywonkers. So, I must always submit to a manual screening by a TSA agent. Usually, these are impersonal affairs with a routine body patting performed by curious hands in latex gloves. Not so at America’s Friendliest Airport!
St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland and many centuries later, these same snakes were discovered on a plane by Samuel L. Jackson
In a formal press release issued this morning, it was reported “The Supreme Leader has taken a bride of the utmost virtue and honor. The Father Supreme will now be Groom Generalissimo to a coveted creature who is the center of his superbly excellent love and devotion. Our Benevolent Lord will be the most perfect husband ever to this adoring bride, and as an offering to her greatness, he has pledged to never cook her in a boiling pot of water. Truly, no man has ever loved as our Master loves!”
In a prepared statement, Farmville Police Chief Maxwell “Hurly Burly” Weatherton said “The suspect hired a shiny-suited attorney who made the case for an alleged airtight alibi. I wasn’t buying it, but apparently the gullible judge was so stupid, he took the bait. Now the jailbird flies free!”