Humor

“SEAL Team 6” Available For Use

 Disney has made a great patriotic gesture by dropping its intent to trademark the phrase “SEAL Team 6” for use on garments, clothing, ornaments, and every object on earth. Now commoners can use “SEAL Team 6” without fear of being swarmed and pummeled with lawsuits by Disney legal counsellors. Thank you, Disney. However, Disney has …

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Humor

Hello, Beautiful World!

 It appears I am not one of the chosen ones selected for ascension into heaven during Rapturepalooza 2011. I assume Harold Camping made the grade. Maybe some others. But I did not. So, I’ve unpacked my bags with the DVDs, books, magazines, cameras, cinder block collection, slightly used lightbulbs, leftovers and other essentials for a …

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Humor

Goodbye, Cruel World!

At 6 P.M. Eastern Standard Time today, the Rapture will arrive. Those of us who have led a good life of righteousness and obedience to Harold Camping will be whisked up to Heaven for our eternal rewards, while the rest of you are left behind and subjected to five months of God’s pranks–– earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, aggressive life insurance salespeople, Donald Trump, poo-flinging monkeys and what have you.

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Humor

al Queda Franchisees Furious at Lack of Leadership

Across the globe, other al Quedaes express similar frustrations. “Osama bin Ladin was a great leader,” said a franchisee in a popular unnamed location. “He’d send us motivational videos and memos all the time. Even motivational posters with a picture of kitten with its paws hanging from a rope and the words ‘Hang in there, baby!’ Very inspiring stuff. Now? Now I can’t even get a sign saying ‘Employees must wash hands before returning to their dastardly douchebag behavior.’ I mean, come on, how hard difficult is it to deliver on that?!

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Reviews

Bridesmaids–Raunchy, Yes. Funny, Not So Much.

 Kristen Wiig is one of the most talented comic actors working. Her characters on Saturday Night Live are reason enough to tune-in, and her supporting roles in movies have been consistently excellent over the years. Her performance in Bridesmaids is also a winner, but unfortunately, this movie misses. Kristen is partly to blame–– she co-wrote …

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