Hip Replacements

Surgical Deja Vu

  Call me Robo-Man. I’ve got a matching set of these suckers. Three weeks ago, I went under the knife for my fourth hip replacement surgery in five years. Arthritis was the cause for the first two total hip replacements, faulty equipment was the cause for the subsequent “revision” hip surgeries. Seems that the parts …

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Hip Replacements

Part 21: Hips Ahoy!

 Exactly 10 months after my second hip replacement surgery, the surgeon who performed both operations called me. Believe it or not, he did not call to discuss sports, weather or crock pot recipes. No, yesterday the good doc called to tell me that the artificial hip joints he’d surgically implanted on both sides of my …

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Artsy Fartsy Films Hip Replacements

Part 20: “Le Hair de Hip”

 Ten months after painful hip replacement surgery (read all about it in a revealing 19-part series in the ‘Hip Replacements’ category of The Lint Screen), post production has finally been completed on the sequel to “The Beard”, a stunning new art film entitled “Le Hair de Hip” exploring one man’s dilemma with another man’s facial …

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Flashback (Pt. 18)

After I was wheeled into the operating room and transferred to the operating table, I noticed all the medical personnel in the room. Just before I was put under, I noticed two more people come into the operating room, they were all gussied-up. They galavanted about greeted all the medical people while posing for a small posse of paparazzi that accompanied them.

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Hip Replacements Whatnot

Hips Ahoy! (Pt. 17)

I don’t know if Ambien is a sleep wonder drug or the ultimate alibi pill. Last night I took a muscle relaxer and slept great. I’m getting this Ambien monkey off my back (goodness knows what he’s doing back there in the middle of the night– driving, eating, talking on the phone, having sex).

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