Humor

After Brouhaha, Virginia Names New Governor

 The past week has been a turbulent one in the grand ol‘ state of Virginny. The current Governor Ralph Northam was caught in a college yearbook photo wearing either blackface or a KKK hood, the African-American lieutenant governor Justin Fairfax is facing sexual assault charges, and next in line for succession, Attorney General Mark Herring …

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Sanders Explains Many Benefits of Trump’s “Executive Time”

  Sanders blasts fake news for criticizing our hard-working president for making America great again. Sarah Sanders has a bit of a temper. Today, the White House press secretary dropped by The Lint Screen offices and overturned desks, threw computers, and slugged the jaws of journalists as she explained President Trump’s recently disclosed excessive ‘executive …

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Stone Vows To Keep His Yap Shut And Get A Loyalty Tat

 Roger Stone ain’t no stinkin’ rat! The recently arrested political consultant and Trump whisperer called The Lint Screen offices to give the 4-1-1. “Listen up, see?” Stone began the conversation, “I didn’t do nothin’ wrong, okay? Everything I did was all on the up and up, twenty-three skidoo and kosher. And the flatfoot gumshoes know …

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Wilbur Ross Calls Gov’t Shutdown Employees “Slackers”

 The U.S. Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross is frustrated with the state of the union. In an exclusive interview with The Lint Screen, the featured model for the month of March on the U.S. Cabinet “Nudie” Calendar spoke candidly about his views. “I keep hearing how bad these 800,000 furloughed government employees have it. Wah …

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Pelosi Discloses Her Plans To Destroy America

 If there’s one thing Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi hates, it’s you. “I can’t stand America,” Pelosi told The Lint Screen. “The only thing I hate more is Americans. Especially the patriotic ones.” Indeed. The pixie of a woman is hellbent on the destruction of our great God-loving, flag-waving, MAGA hat-wearing nation. “Trump keeps …

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Giuliani Clarifies His Trump Defense Strategy

 President Trump’s personal legal beagle, Rudy Giuliani stopped by The Lint Screen offices this morning to clarify statements he made to CNN yesterday. “It’s outrageous how the lamestream liberal media is putting words in my mouth,” Rudy screamed, flashing his million-dollar?smile and exuding studliness. “The president has never changed his position. Of course, some people …

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